FADED
Thursday, 27 April 2017 • April 27, 2017 •
2 commentsHEY,,
It's been ages since i left blogger world. It nice to stop here..After i went to boarding school . I've never write a piece of entry...so I'll pleased to call this as my comeback...huhuhu 😃😃😃
I'm 18 now (it's not official tho)....I've finished my school life...but there's a thing that I regret much...A friend...the one whom I cared most...someone whom I never want to lost....I've never tell him the truth of my feelings...and now we are far apart...what should I do? i realized that I'd wasted so much chances over him.....why am i so silly? I've always denied my own self ,my own feeling just to keep him with me...I've never once care about his feelings....Am i too cruel? sometimes i think i don't deserves him...the fact that I MISS HIM is hurting my inner self...I've been with him for 7 years..and last year i realized that it was our last year been together in the same school...i knew that i need to something in case to have him as my friend....but i just waste the chances till the end....i still remember the sight of him stared at me when we went to take our SPM result...guess what? I didn't speak a single word to him!!! I talked to my other boyfriends (classmates) instead. when he looked at me,, I wanted to call for him..but I seemed like i were froze myself ...when he turned away...i were surrounded by the melancholy feels...at that time I certainly knew that it was the last time i'm gonna meet him (because i know our paths are diff in future)....when you read this you'll gonna questioned me...what about social med? why am I so lame? yes, we did talk in soc med but not as much as we supposed to..back then in elementary school we used to chat almost eveyday! and in junior high school we used to text each other to share about our days in school but unfortunately we became a bit awkward in F3 .....and during senior high school, during the last day of orientation of F4, we were told to check our names on the list names in each classes and choose our sit before the class began in the next day. I was froze as stone when i saw his name on the list... we ended up to be in the same class...for a while, he came approaching me *this is the first time we talk publicly* im shook when i told him we were gonna be in the same class n he yelled "Yesssssss" ...me be like huh? why? and he just smiled and said nothing before he went away n said "i'm keen to be with u tomorrow" ...anyway it just words...by him.....we never talked to each other even we in the same class...no one knows that we're supposedly best friend...ridiculous wasn't it? Until i broke the ice, i texted him ...and we got to chatter like usual.
A week after, i've got the offer letter to the boarding school...i cried as hell crazy...i refused to go but when he texted me that he got the offer to entered the same boarding school ...i was persuaded . it was like magic okay...i cried for two days continuosly but i was cheerful af after i got his text...
We went to the same school...and we got close again since our best friend from elementary school also there, we communicate damn good with each other...(i want to thank our beloved old friend, because of him...i can talk to him again...so both of this guy were like clingy with me...and i feel as if we're in elementary school...hehehe
Then, the chaos blew the awkward air between us when we got into F5 *the awkwardness is between me and him but we still close to our old friend...i think we just act like we're close in front of our friend*....sometimes he was mean,,but at the other time he could be kind and sweet...and romantic...the chaos between us began when i was gossiped with one of my classmates...the whole college thought we're the college cute couple....and everyday when i met my friend, i always did tell him that it was just rumor...i've never been in relationship with anyone...
At this rate, i was confused myself ...u know what it seems like he was jealous when everytime i was on duty alone, he would come and approaches me...and done something cheesy to me...i don't want to get full of myself but it's reality...but if there's my scandal nearby, he won't talk much...he even being cold with me..
....i think this entry is long af for u to finished it...GOMEN'NASAI ~
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