The Tutorial

Tutorial
Tutorial
Tutorial
Tutorial
Tutorial
Tutorial
Tutorial

Hey guyss,, dah lama kan aku menyepi since my last entry? uhuhuhuhu mianhae,, iolls busy sikit since masuk matrik ni  :D sumpah tak tipu, hahahahah dah la aku tak bawak lappy pun datang sini...emm waktu cuti pulak aku sibuk layan kdrama aku...huihuihui....okay lah ,, sebenarnya kan..

Aku ingat aku masih ada 1 peluang tau,, peluang apa? peluang nak jadi doktor...tapin rupanya aku silap...ye,, even aku struggle kat sem 1 (Alhamdulillah result okay) tapi kan,, hari tu aku nak isi UPU x dapat nak pilih bidang medic..rupa-rupanya upu sekarang dah upgrade di mana dorang tak akan provide choices yang tak sesuai dengan kelayakan kau  ...tho aku punya pointer matrik aku okay tapi result spm aku x okay caused me unable to apply for medic...menangis aku isi upu ...hahaha ye la wei sapa tak nangis bila hidup kelam cam ni....tapi tak pe lah I DO BELIEVE IN MIRACLE ^^ If Allah wills, and ada rezeki,dapatlah aku jadi doktor kan ,,lagipun aku ada 1 sem lagi untuk buat yang terbaik,, korang yang baca ni doakan aku tau!!!! InshaAllah aku akan publish story pasal matrik plak...untuk kegunaan adik2 yang inginkan bantuan,, i'll try my best to write something about MATRIKULASI...

ouhh btw aku currently tgh study kat Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang,, so anything kau org boleh tanya by leaving questions kat comment ye...aku x janji entry pasal matrik akan siap dlm masa terdekat ...cuz final dah nak dekat ni hehehehe thank you sudi baca *mini love*

HYEP!

While i was busy updating my blog, my father told us that we are going to eat outside *it's not the point since we used to go eat outside during weekend as our family bonding time hehehe but his word of "for celebrating kakak"  make me ehhhhh??? celebrating me? what for? serius terkejut..ye la aku ni bukan ada apa2...rupanya2 papa feels glad that i'm going to matriculation...faham tak rasa sebak ni?? sebak bila ingat dah hancurkan harapan papa sekali gus melumat-lumatkan hati dia bila aku tak dpt straight As in SPM....sapa tak sedih weiiii....lama dah aku tak tengok papa senyum ikhlas...lama dah papa tak bagi semangat untuk aku terus hidup...I'm so happy yet kinda awkward hahahahaha...aku takut sebenarnya...takut kecewakan insan yang aku sayang sangat tu...selama ni kat maktab pun aku takut sangat...just tak tunjuk je perasaan tu...selama ni pun aku sedih sangat...pun tak tunjuk dengan air muka...

Flashback

First time aku masuk maktab, ramai yang aku tak kenal...budak sekolah lama pun tujuh orang..3 perempuan, 4 lelaki...yang aku rapat 2 orang...tu pun jauh2 seorang perempuan, tapi duk aras atas sekali while i'm in ground floor level...seorang lagi lelaki...lagi la jauh...jadi aku cuba berubah untuk survive kat tempat baru...I'm such a gloomy person back then...tapi tetiba kat maktab boleh jadi happy go lucky...hahahah satu je rahsia...SENYUM...hide ur weakness bbehind ur smile..it's working!!! hwanjeon! masa tu sebab aku sorang je,, aku tak nak family aku tgk aku bersedih (aku more to kena paksa pergi sebenarnya waktu tu)...jadi aku SENYUM dari rumah sampai la ke maktab x berhenti pun..nenek2 atuk2 parents aku, semua ingat aku betul2 happy...so terkenal la aku dengan budak happy go lucky sedangkan kat dalam Allah je tahu...aku takut,, tapi aku tak nak tunjuk, sbb aku tak nak keseorangan...tak nak kena tindas..aku proudly volunteer untuk itu ini...yang aku tak pernah buat sebelum ni semua aku buat...waktu teacher bagi soalan addmath, aku golongan yang berebut nak jawab...kiranya semua benda aku berani ke depan sebab masa tu aku cakap kat diri aku " alaa,, sapa je kau kenal dekat sini,,hentam je la..."

Begitu jugak la dengan sedih...sapa tak sedih bila pointer dari form 4 asyik duk 3.45 je...alahai dah la consistent pointer tu setiap sem...mahu tak sedih? aku pernah ahh menangis kat pondok kat belakang bilik aku yang dekat padang...tapi lepas nangis tu aku rasa seriau...sumpah aku tak nangis dah kat situ...hahaha takut weii,, aku nangis pun aku gi jauh...contoh la petang lepas habis prep tu aku duk kat blok akademik,,sambil2 study, sambil2 nangis...hehehe mana ada orang nak lalu situ time tu...bila dah rasa lega, aku balik ahh bilik ..konon2 pergi riadah (sangat) ...sampai sekarang,,tak de sapa pernah tengok aku nangis,, sampai ada yang kata aku relaks je...hmm tak kan nak tunjuk,tak macho ahh...kekeke...ada kawan aku tu terkejut bila aku kata  aku pernah nangis kat maktab...hehehe aku kata mana ada manusia tak de masalah, cuma cara handle je berbeza...aku suka time hujan...sebab masa tu aku boleh nangis kat public without a person notice  >_<  teruk kan aku...mesti korang yang baca ni kata aku ni cengeng...lantak la,, janji aku tak jadi gila sebab stress hahahaah...

Tak kisah lah semua tu,, janji sekarang aku masih ada 1 lagi peluang untuk buat yang terbaikkk,, masih ada peluang nak tebus senyuman papa ngan umi aku...masih ada peluang untuk aku jadi kakak contoh kepada adik2...korang doakan aku dapat yang terbaik dalam hidup aku okay? doakan aku berjaya dunia akhirat...Terima kasih sbb sudi baca...

For those yang ada masalah yang sama dengan aku...NEVER GIVE UP...KEEP GOING..KEEP TRYING..okay? have faith in Allah..kadang2 apa yang kita nak tak semestinya dapat cm tu je,,kena usaha...Allah dah janji nak bagi tapi antara cepat dan lambat je ..never put yourself down because no one will cheer you up if not yourself...tolong la positif...kalau kita set mind kita untuk benda yang positif,, InshaAllah kita dapat hasil yang positif...aku pernah takut, i faced all thosee triggered things just to overcome my fears...ingat,, jangan over needy...coz manusia sekarang tak semua honest dengan kau...tak semua mampu nak layan karenah kau,, tak semua baik....jadi berhati2,, jangan mudah percaya orang...jangan sombong...dan sentiasa bantu orang dengan IKHLAS...okay?? luv you guyss ^^ percaya la DEPRESSION also can lead to HAPPINESS...u know ur own self well, try to manage urself properly ..sekian

HEY,,
It's been ages since i left blogger world. It nice to stop here..After i went to boarding school . I've never write a piece of entry...so I'll pleased to call this as my comeback...huhuhu    😃😃😃

I'm 18 now (it's not official tho)....I've finished my school life...but there's a thing that I regret much...A friend...the one whom I cared most...someone whom I never want to lost....I've never tell him the truth of my feelings...and now we are far apart...what should I do? i realized that I'd wasted so much chances over him.....why am i so silly? I've always denied my own self ,my own feeling just to keep him with me...I've never once care about his feelings....Am i too cruel? sometimes i think i don't deserves him...the fact that I MISS HIM is hurting my inner self...I've been with him for 7 years..and last year i realized that it was our last year been together in the same school...i knew that i need to something in case to have him as my friend....but i just waste the chances till the end....i still remember the sight of him stared at me when we went to take our SPM result...guess what? I didn't speak a single word to him!!! I talked to my other boyfriends (classmates) instead. when he looked at me,, I wanted to call for him..but I seemed like i were froze myself ...when he turned away...i were surrounded by the melancholy feels...at that time I certainly knew that it was the last time i'm gonna meet him (because i know our paths are diff in future)....when you read this you'll gonna questioned me...what about social med? why am I so lame? yes, we did talk in soc med but not as much as we supposed to..back then in elementary school we used to chat almost eveyday! and in junior high school we used to text each other to share about our days in school but unfortunately we became a bit awkward in F3 .....and during senior high school, during the last day of orientation of F4, we were told to check our names on the list names in each classes and choose our sit before the class began in the next day. I was froze as stone when i saw his name on the list... we ended up to be in the same class...for a while, he came approaching me *this is the first time we talk publicly*  im shook when i told him we were gonna be in the same class n he yelled "Yesssssss" ...me be like huh? why? and he just smiled and said nothing before he went away n said "i'm keen to be with u tomorrow" ...anyway it just words...by him.....we never talked to each other even we in the same class...no one knows that we're supposedly best friend...ridiculous wasn't it? Until i broke the ice, i texted him ...and we got to chatter like usual.

A week after, i've got the offer letter to the boarding school...i cried as hell crazy...i refused to go but when he texted me that he got the offer to entered the same boarding school ...i was persuaded . it was like magic okay...i cried for two days continuosly but i was cheerful af after i got his text...
We went to the same school...and we got close again since our best friend from elementary school also there, we communicate damn good with each other...(i want to thank our beloved old friend, because of him...i can talk to him again...so both of this guy were like clingy with me...and i feel as if we're in elementary school...hehehe

Then, the chaos blew the awkward air between us when we got into F5 *the awkwardness is between me and him but we still close to our old friend...i think we just act like we're close in front of our friend*....sometimes he was mean,,but at the other time he could be kind and sweet...and romantic...the chaos between us began when i was gossiped with one of my classmates...the whole college thought we're the college cute couple....and everyday when i met my friend, i always did tell him that it was just rumor...i've never been in relationship with anyone...

At this rate, i was confused myself ...u know what it seems like he was jealous when everytime i was on duty alone, he would come and approaches me...and done something cheesy to me...i don't want to get full of myself but it's reality...but if there's my scandal nearby, he won't talk much...he even being cold with me..
....i think this entry is long af for u to finished it...GOMEN'NASAI ~